Well I am actually writing this intro before a Direct was even announced (today is September 10). Because it’s pretty clear we’ll get a Direct this month at the same kind of time as every September in the last 8 years, and I assume 13 or 14 for the date of the Direct (*Edit: okay it was 14, let me update the title*).

There are rumors going for this one from Pyoro, one of the only “leakers” that has actually been somewhat trustworthy so far. Namely a DK game that SEEMS to be Mario vs DK-related… hopefully it’s not one of the Minis games and actually a return to the original MvD, which was a take on Donkey Kong 94. Then one for an F-Zero game, which he is heavily hinting at being F-Zero 99 (please no). And one that seems to be hinting at a remaster of the 2 Trace Memory games (the Wii one never came out in America), or at least a Wii game and a DS game that are linked somehow. And there’s no other leaker saying anything credible. Would be funny if this Direct was the one where Pyoro lost his credibility.

My true expectation is, of course, that even a bad Direct has one or two cool things, so in the end I’ll probably have some thing to be happy about here.

Well, let’s go and watch this Direct! These are live reactions as I’m watching the Direct.

Live Direct Reactions

And we’re starting with DLC… Oof. I haven’t actually gotten Splatoon 3 yet because paid online. And even if I did have the game… fuck buying DLC. It’s all garbage. Not interested in any of this. Coming pretty late, all the way in Spring.

Here’s the Mario vs DK leak. And it’s actually a proper Mario vs DK game rather than a minis game! Not sure if it’s a straight remake of the first GBA game… yeah seems like it. Cool to get this type of gameplay back, this looks good. February 16 2024.

Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown, the side-scrolling one. Looks pretty generic. January 18 2024.

Horizon Chase 2. Actually the first one was pretty cool. I think it’s out today. Huh.

Super Crazy Rhythm Castle. It’s an adventure rhythm game with different rhythm minigames. Probably a pretty average game. November 14.

Spy * Anya. It’s a Spy X Family game where you play as Anya, doing Anya things. Cute. Next year.

More details on Mario RPG. Seems they decided to make an already-easy game even easier, maybe, with timed hits hitting all enemies… But there’s some post-game content too with tougher boss fights.

Trace Memory, which was also in the leaks. Upgraded graphics and puzzles. And, much like the leaks, this game includes both the DS and Wii game. Another Code Recollection. January 19 2024.

And now the Princess Peach game. Finally seeing more gameplay from this. I gotta say, even looking at it more in detail, it has pretty confusing gameplay, hard to say what it’s really like… Getting the sword power up  seems to make it into a hack n slash platformer, while the detective one makes it into an adventure game and the cook one makes it into cooking minigames. And there’s more in the final game. Looks… maybe interesting? Princess Peach Showtime, March 22 2024.

A new SaGa beings. SaGa Emerald Beyond. I quite enjoy SaGa, this one looks like it builds on how Scarlet Grace worked and adds a lot to it. Looks fucking great. 2024.

Tomb Raider collection of what seems to be the first few games, with some upgraded graphics. Looks okay. February 14 2024.

Detective Pikachu Returns. This is coming next month, this is more gameplay than the first trailers which focused on cutscenes. Not sure if I’ll get it but it looks decent.

Trombone Champ… for some reason. Okay whatever. The control method looks interesting. But whatever.

Highlights:
Battle Crush, battle royale brawler, whatever.
Wartales, an open world tactical RPG… I dunno.
Contra: Operation Galuga. This is meant to be a reimagining of the NES game, but it looks to have very different gameplay and levels. Looks cool!

This is what looks like a pretty weird strategy RPG with a combination of turn-based battles between small squads, and real time movement where your units try to either go to fight enemies or capture places… Wait is this Ogre Battle? Atlus, Vanillaware, Unicorn Overlord… Okay this looks good. Not Ogre Battle but clearly inspired by it. Hype. March 8 2024.

Just a bit about the Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon remaster. This was an okay game, I feel the first and third are better but it was okay. Summer 2024.

2 announcements to share… we have some Mario-looking block but it’s… on top of a building? Nintendo Museum? Okay? Whatever man.

And there’s some amiibos. Zelda, Ganondorf, Noah, Mio and Sora. Okay.

F-Zero. Is it the leak? Yeah… So this is F-Zero 99, as people expected from the leak. Not a bad idea, but fucking shit man, I wanted a real F-Zero game… I will get a month of NSO to play this once. This is out today, obviously for free for NSO members. If this is testing the viability of F-Zero… this is not the way.

Bandle Tale… Some top-down adventure game where you gather materials to craft and knit stuff to rebuild a city or something. Doesn’t look awful. 2024.

Nunu and Willem… Some 3D platformer, I think this is League? Yeah. Would have to see more, might be okay. Pretty sure this is not the first time I see a trailer for this. Song of Nunu: A League of Legends Story. Comes out November 1.

WarioWare Move it. Yeah I’m not interested in this motion control crap. I think we had the date for this already. November 3.

(menwhile on the japanese side) Hatsune Miku Fitness Boxing. Lol.

Eiyuden Chronicles. Are we getting a release date? I actually have this backed on Kickstarter. April 23 2024. Okay nice to have some info about this finally.

Eastward DLC… Okay? Fuck this.

Wargroove 2. First one was pretty cool but I stopped playing it pretty quick. This looks like much of the same, cool shit. October 5.

Dave the Diver. I saw some Vtubers were playing this but I didn’t look it up. Doesn’t look too impressive. October 26.

Final wave of Mario Kart DLC. Whatever.

Amogus? I guess there’s a new update. Who cares?

Last announcement. Mario thing? Paper Mario? Thousand Year Door! Well… I fucking hate remasters, but if this is how we get a good Paper Mario again, I’ll fucking take it man. Some time in 2024.

Overall

This was actually not too bad. Only counting new announcements, Mario vs DK, Another Code Recollection, SaGa Emerald Beyond, Contra: Operation Galuga, Unicorn Overlord, F-Zero 99 and Paper Mario TTYD all look really interesting. There was a bunch of other info and release dates for a bunch of other things, mostly a bit further down since this was a focus on winter releases rather than immediate 2023 releases. And I think the Princess Peach game was interesting enough and probably the highlight from the already-announced games.

I would say it was lacking on big-hitter announcements, but this IS the end of the the Switch lifecycle so it’s kind of to be expected, and despite that a lot of interesting games are still coming out. This is in stark contrast with the Wii and Wii U which just stopped getting interesting games for over a year before the next console came out.

Even if F-Zero is really not what I wanted… the game still looks pretty good. Even if I want a new Paper Mario game that’s good… I’ll take TTYD to just not get another Origami King-level piece of garbage.

If I were to rate this, I’d give it a good score, like a 7.5, which is quite high in case you’re unaware of how scores work (as most reviewers are).

Pretty good shit. Next year will be interesting for Nintendo.